Here’s a topic I’ve wanted to write about for a while, but obviously haven’t because I needed to gather all my thoughts.
Guy trips vs. girl trips–
You know where your man or husband, girlfriend or wife have a weekend away with their pals without YOU. Exciting for the one going on this getaway, but not for the other who stays home wondering what’s really going on.
I’m all for girl trips because they’re fun and it’s a good escape from the routine life I’m living– being a mother and house-wife. I deserve it! And you can read about my getaway back in July at “Bachelorette Party Atlantic City.
My boyfriend had no issue with it because that’s the kind of relationship we have; we let one another be free, but of course to a certain extent. I had none of that calling or texting me constantly of any sort. We of course kept in contact, because we both wanted to.
Now, as for guy trips? Not happening. I expect my man to come home to me every night and snore in my ear while I sleep.
Double standard? You can say that, but I have my reasons!
See, girl-trips are far less raunchy than guy-trips, at least with my girls. My girls are old, dried up and boring, haha, not entirely, but at times they can be such grandmas so he knows when I’m rolling with them we’re probably going to be singing kumbaya and doing each others hair.
As for a few other friends their married or in serious relationships so their out-of-control ways are locked up in a closet somewhere.
Now, as for his friends? I like all of them– great, funny and outgoing guys, but I know how they are. Single, slutty and crazy. That lifestyle just doesn’t mix with a practically married man. And it has nothing to do with trust.
I spoke to five of my girlfriends and four out of the five tried so hard to make me understand that if I trust him than I shouldn’t be worried. As for me not trusting his friends, well sure they aren’t going to hold him at gun point and make him do anything he doesn’t want to do so if he does something it’s because he chose to and that’s his doing. I totally agree, but that still doesn’t change my opinion on his potential guy-trips.
Not to mention guy-trips are usually done because someone is getting married and that entails a bachelor party. Bachelor party equals strippers, intoxication and scandalous secrets for decades to come.
So knowing this why would I allow it? I absolutely think going to strip-clubs is cheating. Watching girls shake their dirty bums, fake tata’s and sometimes smelly flowers in your face isn’t going to happen while you’re with me. I don’t go to strips clubs or like them, but when I have gone these guys are only showing their junk in a nasty thong we aren’t actually seeing all the meat as when female strippers do. So it’s different.
Now if it’s a fishing trip or golfing trip that’s a different story and another post.
Again, I trust my man– to a certain extent, but men are just not to be trusted 100%. Women who go on about trust and knowing their men wouldn’t do that are delusional (in my book). Years later, those women will wonder how their man could have had a secret life with a mistress for 5-years! Hello! You practically allowed it.
Of course, I’m not saying to be a nazi-controlling-dictator, but you need to run sh*t. Let him know what’s going to happen and not happen.
My man and I had got into a dispute about future bachelor parties and I let him know what the deal is— he’s either not going which will save everyone the embarrassment (he laughs) or he can go and I’ll follow right along while incognito (he stops laughing). Haha.
I guess we’re all just going to have to see what happens huh?
Am I wrong or right?
SMar 21, 2014 at 1:19 pm
Well, we live together and have been together for 16 months. But, he did plan it or his friend did actually. Then he tells me about it. It’s not until August. I’m not going to be ok with it regardless of where they go. Especially in light of all that has transpired. Very hurtful.
BetsyMar 24, 2014 at 11:49 am
Yeah he definitely should have consulted with you. Doesn’t matter who planned it he went along with is and still is–
SMar 21, 2014 at 3:52 am
Totally agree with you Betsy. My man is now going to Palm Springs for a guys weekend golf trip. This is only after I found out his very single friend wanted a bunch of “hot chicks” to go on their party bus with them to Vegas!! So, now that he’s going to Palm Springs with his boys who I don’t like or trust, I’m supposed to be ok with it? I don’t think so! Oh and he and I have yet to have a weekend getaway with each other but he’s already planned a trip without me. 🙁 Not cool!! Guys are insecure and need validation ( from other women) to prove they’re still attractive to the opposite sex which obviously means flirting which could lead to other things. It’s a slippery slope that should just be avoided. Period.
BetsyMar 21, 2014 at 11:21 am
Omg are you serious!? He planned the trip without telling you!? That shows you right there the relationship isn’t serious. Me and my man have never went away together, but neither has he gone away with the boys. I just don’t trust his single friends. You definitely need to speak to him because you weren’t even involved in the whole planning or making sure it was okay with you. Disgusting!
MaritzaSep 19, 2013 at 2:11 pm
Your wrong! Your wrong and your wrong!!!! I sense some jealousy ! If you want your other half to trust you, you should trust him! End of story!
BetsySep 19, 2013 at 11:15 pm
Everyone’s jealous– I admit my jealously even when many wont. Trust is a huge necessity in any relationship, but I don’t think it should be 100% ever.