When someone’s in a relationship they usually think about marriage and then having children. All those hopes and dreams you had planned with that special someone can quickly all disappear when the relationship is going sour.
One can feel sadness, disappear and probably depression over having put in so many years of hard-work and love and to see that dream not become reality can be hard for anyone. So, one might think, “well maybe if I have a kid things will get better.”
Will having a baby save a marriage? At first you may think it could be a great relationship-saver, that it will be an unbreakable bond that will for sure turn things around in your relationship, but in the short-long run it’s a horrible idea.
Having a kid when the relationship is already in the gutter is adding more complications, resentment and ultimately hate towards one another. Instead of adding to the equation focus on what needs to be fixed in the relationship first before moving on to the next big step.
Even in my relationship, yes, we get along and love each other, but at times we get on each other nerves and when Ziana is not being a good-girl by yelling her head off or throwing things it just amps us up more and we get madder at each other. And things always get resolved because there’s already love there, no hate.
Now, imagine already being hated from your partner and you come out knocked up? It’s a 50/50 chance that your “trick” may turn out good, but it’s a huge risk your taking on an innocent baby who’s going to be living through that and who suffers? The child mostly.
This is what happened with my favorite wedding planner– and probably yours too, David Tutera. As we recently found out he’s in the process of divorcing his partner of ten years, Ryan Jurica; and besides it being a nasty divorce where Jurica is accusing Tutera of being a sex addict and them splitting their fraternal twins between them that’s not the point of this here post.
Tutera told The View, “The relationship was going poorly for six years, we went through with [having children] in hopes that the relationship would get better and that having a family would make it better.”
Well that obviously didn’t happen–
If you’re thinking about getting knocked up on purpose please don’t do it. It isn’t fair to put such burden on a child, they’re a child! No way can the kid fix the issues of his parents who are the only ones responsible fixing their issues. And growing up in a tug-of-war family is beyond dysfunctional.
My advice, get the relationship right or step to the left, to the left.