The Unspoken Sex Contract


The old-time question whether or not having a friend with benefits is well, beneficial or is it just a line you don’t cross? I’ve had a friend with benefits in the past and can say that I actually had a good experience with it. However, many people don’t which is why it leaves a sour taste in people’s mouth when the subject is bought up.

The reason my experience went so well was because we were friends before ever hooking up. The “contract” we entered was understood, it was an unspoken sex contract I guess you can say. Of course we were attracted to one another, but not to the point that we HAD to be with each other. We always hung out and there was always some flirting and that’s as far as it had gone– until one night (haha). It’s always that one night when your guards are knocked out the field and you just don’t give a *bleep*. Our friendship was still intact and the sex was nothing to complain about therefore it worked. Unlike many people we didn’t catch feelings and have “the talk” of one of us wanting to be more than just friends with benefits. We eventually stopped that part of our friendship since i started dating someone and he was working things out with an ex, so there were no hard feelings.

If you can completely detach your feelings from sex than friends with benefits can work. If you’re a person who confuses sex with love then you can not do this! There’s nothing worse than going into this type of agreement and then wanting to be with the person when they don’t want to be with you. I’m not saying there’s no hope that the dirty, raunchy sex you’re having with your friend can turn to a committed relationship, but you can’t expect that when going into it. Better yet, have no expectations, none what so ever.


Friends with benefits is just being friends and having sex, period. There’s no deeper definition to it so trying to figure out what it really is between you guys is just a waste of time. Don’t try to define what it is, don’t read into these imaginary signs and signals just let sex be sex.

If you guys aren’t friends with the same people keep them away from your friends. The most awkward thing that can happen is that your special friend ends up liking your best friend, cousin or whomever. One, there goes your sex life and two you’ll always picture what-if the relationship between you guys would’ve been more.

It’s always best to keep your life separate from the sexcapade you have going on with the person. The less you know about them the less attached you’ll probably get. So if you have their Facebook, twitter or Instagram delete them now.


And the last advice I can give you is that if you start catching feelings for the person talk to them and see if they feel the same. You have nothing much to lose. If after the embarrassment of expressing your feelings and they don’t reciprocate back then your contract is null. Throw the contract away and keep it moving. There’s nothing worse than crying over a man with just a penis.

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