Your girlfriend is dating an amazing guy (according to her), he’s romantic, sweet, religious, great job, yada-yada-yada. They spend just about all their time together and she’s met his family. Perhaps, they’re even talking about moving in together.
BUT– here comes the BIG gigantic but… What if one day you see this amazing guy with another woman? Not a friend– a wo-man who has her arm around his arm and are spotted kissing?
Of course your heart sinks because you know this guy and this guy is your friends man! What’s going on? Do you approach him? Her? Watch? Turn around? Even more importantly, tell your friend?
This is very tricky and when I was younger I would instantly say “I’m telling my friend!” But the older you get the more complicated this situation gets.
You tell your friend she may thank you or be mad at you. Thank you for telling her what you saw and then do her own investigation or ask her man where he will most likely lie and concoct some story about how all that you saw was misconstrued. Your friend can take your side or believe him and now her man doesn’t want you near her.
OR– your friend knew the whole time that her man was a douchebag and didn’t ever want to be confronted with the reality of her relationship.
Is it even your business? Many women I feel are desperate or hate to disrupt a situation their comfortable in that they’ll be so mad and embarrassed that now you know and you’re going to be talking to others that she’ll cut you off.
In hindsight telling your friend looks like the best idea because you want her to know the truth, but sometimes it’s just not the greatest idea. For me, I would tell, but not directly to her face. I’d take the less direct approach and type a letter or make up an email and send it to her anonymously.
Haha, I know it sounds funny and punk-ish, but that’s the best way to do it if you feel guilty. This is hard for you too. I don’t ever see myself continuing a friendship and having this kind of secret from her.
Also, would your decision change if their situation was different? Like they were married with kids? Telling doesn’t only affect her, but the whole family unit.
What’s strange is that men would tell their guy friends if they saw their girl with some other guy and not have any of those consequences. Why is it that us women would have so many negative reactions as oppose to a “thank you?”
That clearly shows that women are always in some type of jealous competition with one another. We can’t trust or respect each others words because of this race we’re trying to out beat one another.
How would you confront such a situation?