Secrecy in Relationships

Someone please explain to me why when in a relationship people are still secretive with hiding their phones or keeping passwords especially that you don’t know?

I can’t talk about my current relationship because we have each others passwords to all social media and emails. Why? Just because. It’s not like we sat down one day and said I want your passwords to this, that and the third, we just happened to log each other in or had to do something on their account. Before him I had a password on my phone, which he had the password to, but soon took it off because there really was no reason for me to have it on. Nothing to hide.

I basically tell him every little thing that happened to me during the day. Details of who said what, what I saw, what I thought and so on. I’m an open book and just want to share my life with him whether it’s intriguing or boring, haha.

However, still many people are very secretive when it comes to their phone, online activity, relationships with other people and so much more! Why? I just don’t get it.


For instance every time an ex would message me, text or call I always informed my boyfriend and still do, not because I had have to, but because why not? Is there something to hide that I can’t tell him? Obviously not. But there are people, some who are my friends, that won’t tell their man if they spoke to an ex. Their reason being that it’s not important nothing was spoken about that has to be repeated.

Okay true– but how would you feel if they kept this ‘no huge deal’ of a secret (because let’s face it, it’s a secret) to themselves when an ex contacted them and they didn’t tell you? I would be a bit peeved to say the least.

Finding out things on your own is the worst feeling ever. Your mind will just scramble and you’ll start to invent things that never happened (usually). You’ll drive yourself crazy and living in your own crazy mind of what-ifs is torturous.

For instance for those who watch the WE network there was a show called “Bridezillas: Marriage Boot Camp” where one couple Porsha and her husband, Byron, had huge issues that all revolved around his cellphone. Not because he was on it all the time, but because he would never allow her to look at it, go through it, give her the password or even leave it unattended. Byron even deleted all his text messages before handing Porsha the phone. Douche move? Doucheness to the third degree!

How she married him with having those kind of trust issues? Only she knows. But for a man to get mad at you for asking questions about his phone and not letting you go through it is a HUGE red flag. So any of you going through that re-evaluate your partner ASAP.


Granted everyone should have their privacy, but if you want to go through their phone you have the damn right to do so! This doesn’t apply to those who are just dating someone occasionally. If he is your man, your one and only, it’s your given right by the authorities of all women to do so! Yep, I said it and I stand by it. This goes for men too, so don’t get all emotional 🙂


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  • Reply
    Elizardo Valdez
    Aug 7, 2013 at 1:01 am

    This is a very interesting subject since the start of mobile phone people have been trying check other peoples phone ect but yea I’m one who loves to have his privacy for certain things I want control over and won’t allow others to get near like my phone I can’t say I’ve been always very private as my ex had all my info… yea amazing and when it ended i Vowed not to share as much ever again the trouble of finding new passwords to all my stuff was such a headache, but it’s just certain things I want for me and don’t want to spy on her ether I shouldn’t have to if she’s the right one right?

    • Reply
      Aug 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm

      It’s not so much spying, it’s about not purposely trying to hide things. Answer you phone in front of me, leave your phone around me and so on. Don’t hide if an ex called you–

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