Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
I think we’ve all had a similar situation at least once in our lives where we’ve been in a relationship with someone we love, yet still love an ex. Is the current boyfriend a rebound? Well– not necessarily.
Is it even fair to be in a relationship when your still desiring someone else? No, but who’s going to actually sit home and wait for the one you want to maybe want you someday? No one! One needs to move on and get closure somehow if not from that certain ex.
A friend, we shall call him ‘Tim,’ had a situation in where he was seeking my advice on an ex who he still had some sort of distant love for her, but hated her at the same time. It makes sense, trust me, haha. They called it quits due to a physical fight where she put her hands on him and he was completely turned off by her demeanor that his heart also shut down. Right there he got his closure.
It can happen that fast.
Apparently, she still doesn’t have closure. While being “in love” with another man and gossiping about how perfect they are (on where else but social media) she had the audacity to text him the night before and say she was thinking of him. He was confused–
I explained that it was disrespectful and embarrassing to her new “love” that she could even pick up her phone and text such words. However, I understood where she might be coming from and stated it was possible to be in love with two people.
Let me explain-
Many people are in relationships or marriages where they are absolutely happy, but still have that aching-painstaking love for someone else. No one knows what happened in your relationship with that person, but things occur where it didn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t work out that it was best to part ways.
Are you always happy with the result? No. But you learn to live with it.
In order to move on from loving two– three– or however many people, you need that closure. I’m so big on closure and without it I probably would’ve still been hung over on so many frogs, haha.
My friend ‘Tim’ who I’m speaking about was actually an ex from about 10 years ago who for some reason I always wanted to be with. I don’t know why and still don’t know why! But I remember after a stint where I wanted to get back with him and I thought he wanted to too, he actually told me, “I don’t want to be with you like that.” The second that sentence ended, I got my closure.
It was that simple.
It’s strange to explain, but it felt right. What I thought I wanted isn’t really what I wanted. It (he) was just familiar so it seemed ‘right.’
In the society we live in today it’s not okay to be in love with more than one person, but there are a slim number of people who don’t believe in monogamy so sharing your love is okay. If that’s the situation you’re in then hooray for you! You’re no longer in a pickle.
Those who can’t seem to figure out their heart there’s always ways to do so.
Figure out your situation and the situation of both men– or women and make a list. Who would you be happier with? Who values you? Values what you value? Morals (if you have any)? Who are you comfortable with? Who can you be YOU with?
It’s a scary thought to leave the known for the unknown, but if that’s what needs to be done so be it. Life is just a lot more complicated when you open your heart to more than one person so don’t do it!