Relationships

Long Distance Relationships, For Fools?

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Is long distance relationships for fools?

I always said no, but then depending on how log the distance is for it may be yes– there’s no definite answer. Every person and relationship is different and many factors come to play when considering such a thing.

When me and my boyfriend were in a long distance relationship it was only for about three and a half months before we moved in together. We saw each other twice during those months for a weeks worth. There was a plan set after the first month and a half that he would leave everything behind in California and move to New York. Therefore, we knew this long distance crap wasn’t going to be forever.

I believe a long distance relationship can only work for so long. It can’t go on for years that’s just ridiculous. Some people may be able to work in that kind of relationship because the basis of that relationship is emotional and they don’t need that physical attention.

Others need that physical contact that they have to be with their significant other weekly or daily. This is what I thought I always wanted– I think most women do. We think living with your boyfriend/girlfriend will be the greatest thing ever because they’ll be “on-call.” After a few months of seeing each others face every single morning, every single afternoon and oh yeah every freaking night it gets kind of suffocating. I don’t mean it in the way that you want to kill yourself, but some “me-time” is definitely necessary. So a few weeks and maybe even a couple of months (no longer) could work for a couple.

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Which is why I say sometimes depending on the people long distance relationship is perfect. The heart grows founder with distance meaning you become more appreciative of what you have so when they come back you get that fresh relationship feeling back. You know what I’m talking about. When my boyfriend was away I missed him like crazy and couldn’t wait for him to come back. Even when he goes out with friends sometimes I start to miss him and see life without him isn’t so great and know I wouldn’t be able to bear such a long time without him.

If there’s constant distance that you don’t see each other for months on end it’s not going to work unless you’re desperate. Only someone desperate would stay in that kind of relationship. Celebrities can make it work because they have all this money to throw around and can travel every other day if need be to their darling– us real people can’t.

And yes there’s technology now that you can see each other all the time like Skype, FaceTime, Oovoo, Windows messenger, private videos and text messages, but that can only be for so long. After a while pleasuring yourself isn’t going to cut it. Then god forbid you don’t Skype one night the trust is slowly going down the drain which causes both of you to be stressed.

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A long distance relationship could also work out if you’re mature and can control certain urges.The biggest obstacle to overcome is trust– something many people don’t have. Heck, I barely have it, haha. Young adults are less likely to stay committed to their significant other because hormones are high and people need that sexual satisfaction.

I think before going away for such a long period of time (more than 3/4 months) you both need to sit down and talk about the realistic expectations from one another. Maybe an open relationship needs to be considered. Who knows? This is something you will have to discuss with one another or even better– just break up until you return IF you return. No need to put yourself through such a torturous ride.

So do long distance relationships work and is it foolish? You’ll have to take the risk and see.

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