Having A Past With A Friend

We all have friends of the opposite sex it’s inevitable. Many girls say that they like being around guys more because they’re not “haters” or “judgmental” etc. which is true. Females are always in competition with one another, unless they’re your friend, but even then some snakes creep through and those friends were never really friends.

Guys are fun, honest, loyal– just as girls, but when you need that truth kicked into you or a perspective from the male species you simply call up your male friend and seek the god-awful truth.

But what happens when you’ve crossed the friend line and fooled around? Some just take it as that and can continue being friends. Besides it was a one time thing you were both horny and available. Moving on–

Or so you think–

You’re now in a relationship do you tell your new guy or girl that you’ve had a past with your friend? It’s a tricky question. Controversial some might say.

When I started dating my boyfriend I let him know who my guy friends were or who my acquaintances were so he could never say I never told him about them (even then he would still say I never told him), but to me honesty is everything. I even told him I stayed in contact with ex’s who were considered a friend. He didn’t agree with being friends with ex’s, and many don’t, but I found it to be okay.

The only reason I could be friends with an ex was if it ended mutually and I no longer had feelings for them. My boyfriend still didn’t agree, but he was fine with it. Honesty gets you far ladies and gents!

What’s crazy is he even became friends with one of my ex’s! The ex was a family friend so disliking him just because he dated me was stupid. My boyfriend was able to see the interaction between us and knew what it was– nothing.

When you start dating someone I think it’s best to tell them you’ve dated your friend in the past and how or why it ended. Not on the first couple dates will you tell him or her, but if it comes up in conversation (because it will) then be honest. It’s not a good feeling when you find out on your own that your new beau slept with Sarah or Danny.

If they accept it, or moat likely acknowledge it let him– or her see you around them. Observation is key in this situation. If they’re too touchy-feely they don’t have boundaries and if they’re ever alone and horny they might not hold back.

If it’s the opposite where they aren’t at all over each other than honestly, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. You have to have trust and trust comes when you’re honest and open about everything.

Your mama didn’t tell you ‘honesty is the best policy’ for nothing!

If they aren’t okay with it that’s your call to make. I never would stop being friends with someone because of a new guy. That friend was there way before this new guy/girl came around so they either have to deal with it or keep it moving. Who’s worth it more?


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  • Reply
    Oct 9, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    MY Bf recently hung out wth his ex and I am sooo upset about it, especially since I found out through other means and not him directly. I don’t do friends with Exes so I am not sure what to think.

    He said he seen her in a friendly way and that he didn’t cheat, I believe him but still very upset about the whole situation,

    • Reply
      Oct 10, 2013 at 3:38 pm

      :O that is beyond disrespectful. I would be very upset and my trust would him would be questioned. He may have told you he didn’t think of it being a big deal which is why he didn’t mention it, but he can’t be that dumb to not think it would make you feel some kind of way.

      Definitely something you need to discuss with him and see if he plans on seeing her again knowing how you feel.

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