Blog/ Relationships

Couples Counseling, Before Marriage?

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Within the last week or so there were reports that the beautifully talented Sofia Vergara and her fiancéboyfriend, Nick Loeb were seeking couples counseling before walking down the aisle. They were engaged, but apparently a few hours ago there are reports that they broke up. Anyways, people wonder if they need couples counseling is it even a smart idea to consider marriage?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who hears this and says that there’s trouble in paradise and a marriage would be a huge mistake. However, I think this is a really great idea. Knowing that your relationship is rocky and getting help is the best thing you could do. Why wait until you’re married and it become worse? Of course if it’s something unrepairable you break-up, but if the love and want to be together is there you should work it out.

No relationship is perfect– disputes are going to happen and get your panties in a bunch, fights can become worse and worse by the day that it’s bound to make a wedge between the two of you and eventually you’ll feel such a disconnect it’s depressing. It becomes hard to realize that the relationship needs help, but either both or one of you are too stubborn to fix it. Married or not if you love someone you need to fight for it and trying to work it out between yourselves doesn’t always pan out.

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Communication is key, taboo? Yes! But we all know it’s true. I admit, my boyfriend can say “I like the apple pie that girl made,” and I can psychoanalysis that sentence into so many different meanings that it would shock you! It’s what many of us do we dissect every word and change the meaning of the sentence because we are so concerned with that one word in particular they just said it’s no wonder what ensues shortly after.

I think that’s the main issue in many relationships/marriages– communication. People think they’re speaking clearly to one another and understanding everything clearly, but you really aren’t. Instead of trying to understand what the other person said and taking it in to understand it better we get mad and attack back. That’s where it starts and the cycle doesn’t end.

Just because your going to counseling before marriage does not mean there’s trouble all the time. Many churches will not allow you to get married there unless you speak to the priest . It’s to make sure you want to get married and any issues before getting into the marriage are resolved– hopefully. Nothing wrong with that so why should you seeking help to strengthen your relationship be bad?

Couples therapy helps resolve issues in the relationship with better understanding of each others feelings and can help you make changes. A mutual party who will help in letting you see both sides of the issue instead of just yours. After so long you’ll get the hang of it you won’t need a third-party to handle your issues anymore because you’ll know how to go about it.

So if you’re considering such a step I say do it! What’s the big deal? At least you can always say you tried.

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