We need to talk about the untamed beast that goes by the name of dysregulation. The Wild World of Dysregulation in Women. You know, that rollercoaster of emotions that’s like trying to navigate a grocery store with a wonky cart – it’s unpredictable, occasionally infuriating, and a part of our everyday lives. So, grab your sense of humor and let’s dive into the whirlwind of being a mommy, spouse/wife, and the queen of our own little kingdom.
The Mom Brain
Picture this: You’re simultaneously managing snack requests, refereeing sibling battles, trying to get the kids ready for school and trying to remember if you switched the laundry. It’s a dance where chaos and multitasking waltz hand in hand.
What is Dysregulation?
Dysregulation refers to difficulties in managing or regulating emotions, and it can manifest in various ways, including heightened emotional reactions. Which is what I go through everyday. Everyday is an internal and external battle.
It happens when the world demands more than we can handle – cue the emotional fireworks. Whether it’s the pressure to be the perfect mom, the relentless demands of everyday life, or the occasional meltdown over spilled milk (literally), dysregulation sneaks in like an uninvited guest to our emotional party. Just this year I started havnig anxiety attacks! I’m on my third one and I feel like I’m going to die because I have trouble breathing. It feels like something is pushing down on me. Very scary and my kids get scared, but it’s been my son who gives me them! WOW! I think I just made a realization! This is for another post-
Juggling Kids and Feelings
As a mom of a 7-year-old, an 11-year-old, and let’s not forget the adult-sized kid we lovingly call a daddy, juggling isn’t just a circus act; it’s a lifestyle. Dysregulation becomes our co-pilot, making surprise appearances while doing homework, during dinner meltdowns and bedtime negotiations. It’s the emotional tag-along to playdates, school projects, and the never-ending quest for missing shoes.
I’m either running around doing everything because of this developed OCD or I’m unable to do anything because I feel completely overwhelmed. Sure, I have a spouse, but if I don’t ask or I tell him to do something, he won’t do it or think to do it. That’s how men have been wired and I have no idea if it’s because of their upbringing or it’s tightly squeezed in their DNA. It’s all the mental baggage that gets to us, so when we fly off the handle, it’s us, it’s never the kids or him that did it to us.
The Tears of Dysregulation
Something else that has been getting to me is the realization that my babies are growing up and becoming more independent. This triggers a range of emotions, from nostalgia and pride to a sense of loss or fear of the unknown. I see new parents and get a bit jealous.
I was watching Good Morning America last month and they had Mrs. Rachel on with all these babies! I remember taking my kids to all these baby fun events. I bawled my eyes out. Over here crying way too much for my own good.
Ziana (my 11-year-old) had to do her own parent-teacher conference where she had to write a booklet of everything she’s learning, how she’s doing in her classes, what she can work on, where shes excelling and I was tearing up! Thankfully, I controlled it by thinking of something else so the teacher didn’t see that. But the way she spoke, I was in awe. Very mature. My little girl is growing up and everyone says she’ll forget all about me as she enters the teenage years and I’m already thinking of the distance.
More Information on Dysfuntion
There’s so much more information on this topic that I found particularly helpful. Check it out here; https://www.sandstonecare.com/blog/emotional-dysregulation/
In the wild journey of motherhood, dysregulation is our quirky sidekick. We need to remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about navigating the mess with a sprinkle, if not a whole bottle, of humor. So here’s to the mom brain, the chaos coordinators, and the dysregulation warriors – we’re in this together, riding the unpredictable tsunami of motherhood.