Yesterday my offspring, Miss Ziana Eliz, graduated from Pre-k and I couldn’t have imagined feeling any different than I did at that moment. When I first got Ziana’s graduation letter listing all the information I read a bit past the second line and started to cry. I really don’t remember when I became such a sap– ah, yes, motherhood. I’m sure some parents out there can’t stand those that cry for every little occasion (HI MOM!), but damnit I’m going to cry!
As I put on her new pretty pink dress, braided her hair and slipped on her pretty pink shoes that’s when it hit me– the kid I grew in my belly for 10-months, going on 5 today, is taking her first steps into a different kind of childhood.
–Insert tears again–
I say different kind of childhood because I really believe there’s levels to it. The baby she once was– babbling, smiling, crying to lift her are a distant memory or a distant video
memory because you I’m the crazy mom with a camera! Now, she still has that charming smile, needs me to tuck her in with bunches of hugs and kiss, but with an at-ti-tude that can cause me to give her the look of death. Imagine when she gets to middle school and high-school! I’m not ready. I’m not ready to let go of the hugs and kisses, her talking to me about what happened in school, who her friends are and how she feels while in pits of rage— I’ll never be ready. So when my eyes get watery and a tear shed that’s why I cry.
So guess what happened when that damn graduation theme song came on? Or they started to sing “Family,” “One Small Voice,” “The World is a Rainbow,” “You Got a Friend in Me”? Those tear ducts started their engines and I– held on strong! The tears didn’t fall down, but they created a huge bucket of water in my eye sockets I was barely able to see through them. I had to gently press my finger up to not ruin my makeup. I had warned Ziana to not make me cry or she would be in trouble and when she saw the tears she gave me that nod of “oh mom.” You can watch all the fun here at 3PM today.
Now, here comes summer and after the first week I’ll be dying for school to start back up again LOL.