Back in November Mary J. Blige made a comment that blew many people’s mind, but mine. When speaking about her 11-year marriage to her husband she stated, “All females for me, all guys for him… There’s none of that, ‘Oh, that’s my female friend. Oh, that’s my guy friend.’ No. Not in a marriage, I’ve never seen that work.” Hit that nail right in the head!
Before my boyfriend I had tons of guy friends. They were the protective big brothers who always took care of me and told me the down right dirty truth about the jerks I was dating. However, all those late night calls or hanging out changed once I got serious. Not because my boyfriend was jealous or controlling, just that I grew up and having all these guy friends wasn’t appropriate. A line needed to be drawn and that’s what I did.
I agree with Mary 100% there is no way I would allow or feel comfortable with my boyfriend meeting some chick at the store and exchanging numbers and starting this new “friendship.” Now say my boyfriend had a friend who he knew before I ever entered the picture then that would be okay. I can’t control that, but hanging out alone just to hang? Negative! Not happening. I would always keep my third eye wide open because you can never trust her. I’m not a trusting person and I know how some women want to break up a happy home to be the one living in that happy home.
This isn’t a trust issue between my boyfriend and I it’ avoiding any type of temptation that might ensue in the future. People grow feelings for one another and it’s not always sexual, but emotional of what can get in way of your stable relationship.
I still have three good guy friends I still keep in contact with who all have met my boyfriend, but it’s just a different relationship. And the older you get the more it’s understandable with all parties. No more one-on-one dinners or hanging out alone.
Imagine you’re in competition with your boyfriend or husbands female friend?! You’re not the one they come to or confide in? It’s not acceptable behavior. And if you want to keep your relationship intact then this is something you’re going to have to discuss and agree on. If your partner is not comfortable the relationship is being set up to be doomed.
Now if this is something you two can both handle of course there needs to be rules. Those rules of course will be made up by the two of you.
How do you feel about having close friendships of the opposite sex?