Blog/ Parent-hood

Aisha Tyler’s Struggles On Becoming A Mom

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I’m a huge fan of “The Talk” on CBS and boy did I miss it when Time Warner and CBS had a cat fight last month. Not only a fan of the show, but of the ladies too.

So this week all the ladies have to confess something to the audience, each other and the world about something not many know about. Yesterday, it was Aisha Taylor’s turn and we were all expecting to clap in excitement and cheer for her, but it was far from that–

Aisha starts off stating how both her and her husband, Jeff Tietjens, have been trying to have a baby. Aw! Yay! Good for her! But wait– there’s more.

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She speaks about how at first they put off having a child and eventually when they decided they wanted to create their own “mini-me” Aisha got off birth control and well they took at it.

Eventually, doctors informed her that she has problems with a torturous fallopian tube, which makes it very hard for the sperm to get to the egg.

Soon after they began in vitro fertilization and their doctor said there was only a 5% chance of her getting pregnant. Aisha points out that many women look at that 5% and not that 95%. Which is a HUGE difference in numbers.

Aisha explains, “We went through the process of all these shots, they make your body crazy, they make you emotional, they hurt, and after going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen to you and I think you really need to think about whether you want to spend all this money and go through all this emotional effort and probably still not get pregnant.’

Just think about how expensive in vitro is and how overwhelming it is to your body and mind, including your partner. They weighed out the options and decided to not continue with in vitro.

As she was tearing up all of us felt her heartache and cried for her. Those who have gone through it and even those who have kids had their hearts breaking.

As a mother and knowing that Ziana is mine, my everything, the reason life is brand new again, I couldn’t imagine not having that and not feeling that feeling. I feel for Aisha.

Many women have trouble conceiving and those are usually sometimes the ones who want it more than those who have kids. I think as parents many of us take it for granted and don’t really cherish it as we should.

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The guilt Aisha feels is even worse, “I feel terrible… ‘I’m sorry that I can’t do this for you, that I can’t give you kids.’” We can understand what she means, but for her to process that it isn’t her fault, she isn’t worthless is what she’s going to have to do.

And although there are other ways of having children such as adoption, Aisha adds, “I love the idea of adoption, but I feel like this is such a fresh wound that I want to let it heal for a while before I think about what we could do.”

Agreed!

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