When you tell someone your going to be a stay at home mom or are a stay at home mom, you get that “oooh” response. I know what their thinking, that it’s not a job, your lazy, you lack ambition and probably have no education. It’s the constant debate whether or not being a stay at home mom is a job.
After some time, it’s been decided that I would not be back to work. Reason being that there would not be anyone to take care of Baby Z. Yeah, there’s daycare, but I don’t trust them especially if Baby Z isn’t able to talk or is able to learn a mean punch.
I only have one kid now so I can’t say that it’s too hard to handle, but as for my sister-in-law who has three kids to raise under the age of 5 it’s a full-time job, not just a 9-5 with lunch breaks. I still don’t know how she keeps her sanity in doing this everyday. There are people who would criticize her because they wouldn’t be a stay at home. And those working moms would be criticized by stay at home moms. No one wins in these fights.
My sister is a working mother with three kids and always was from when they were babies. Now it’s a lot easier since they are all of school age, but it was hard as well. Not only did she work a full-time job she had to come home cook, bathe, interact with them, do household chores and errands when she got home. I don’t know how she did it either. It’s hard being away from your children especially at a young age when their still developing, but when you’re a single parent there is no other choice.
I’ve come up with a list of pros of staying home and possible cons to having to go back to work
-Don’t miss their development; first smile, crawling, walking, first word etc.
-Time to do errands
-With doing all the errands on your man’s day off you get to spend time together as a family without all the running around.
-No time limit to get things done.
-If your breast-feeding you can just pop it out!
-Household chores are done; cleaning, cooking, making calls.
– One less income
-Resentment for having to leave your job that you worked hard for.
-Progression in your career.
-Miss adult interaction.
-Putting you baby in child care.
-Not having your “own” money.
-Adjusting to the new identity of being just a mom.
-Breastfeeding isn’t just popping it out now, you have to pump and pump, which is another job in itself.
-Missing you children
-Being raised by someone else.
-People assume your uneducated.
Now the CON’S that I listed is not how everyone who goes back to work is going to feel. This was a list I created from speaking to other moms.
I stated that putting your child in daycare was a CON because it is for me. After watching all these shows of how many daycare providers treat the kids or how the other kids treat the kids I put my foot down and vowed not to put Baby Z in one until later. I don’t know if many of you saw the Dateline special on daycare’s. Most of the providers shouldn’t be qualified due to criminal backgrounds, but are. Second chances should be given, but parents should know about the provider’s background. Here is the link of the video, so you get a better idea about why I say NO Dateline Hansen Files-Daycare
There are positives to daycare’s too:
-Socialization for your baby
-Constant learning and stimulation for your baby
-Educated caregivers (depends where you go)
– Helps with the transition to school easier.
All in all the decision to stay at home and raise your children has to do with how your family can deal with it. My family is lucky enough to live from one income. Also when I decide to go back to work I have the option of having my mom there since next year she will be retiring. I am okay with the fact that I’m sacrificing my life. The benefits of staying home with Baby Z are well worth it and in my opinion and out way the con’s.