You either love fashion, hate it or don’t understand it. I’m in between loving it and sometimes scratching my head at how ridiculous designers are when they try to “up the ante.” We’ve seen fashion take such drastic turns when it comes to mens fashion– like men wearing pink, men wearing skirts, men wearing flowered patterns, men wearing makeup and now men wearing HEELS! AN old blog post of mine I’ve discussed such hurtful and awful things that have transpired in mens fashion thus far. As women we have so much power in this world and we always have to prove it., but one thing that has always worked for us are our beautifully breasts, nice legs and how we can walk on water with heels.
Now we have men wanting to compete with us by wearing heels! Yes, I’m aware this is a whole new generation and I’m always accepting to the abnormal and ridiculous, but this is just annoyingly obnoxious that men want to dress like women. I don’t get it and if you get it please comment below and educate us.
Luke Nero, a promoter at Mr Black club in LA, told the New York Times: ‘I went to a loft party yesterday, and there was a guy in normal shorts, normal tank and really hot red pumps. That’s it! Everyone was like, “Oh my God, I love those shoes!”‘ REALLY? No one is bothered by a straight man or even gay man wearing heels? REALLY!?
This also has me a bit worried– why is it that men feel the need to steal our style? Us women are always in depressed moods when it comes to wanting to feel younger and look more youthful, so could this be happening to men too? The need to upstage the next man to looks hip and more handsome? Now that’s a thinker!
I want to date a man, not a man who I’m going to have to fight over as to who gets to wear the 5-inch pink heels or fight because he used up all my black eyeliner. If I wanted that I might as well have dated a woman. Do I hate these heel-wearing men? Absolutely not, but please go dress up in your manly jeans and tees and leave us to be the pretty ones.
6 Comments
Craig
May 8, 2018 at 6:04 pmHi Betsy,
I wear high heels all the time.
I love clothes etc and it is frustrating to see the myriad of styles/colours women can enjoy and the lack thereof for men. Another personal annoyance is formal events, not the high-rollers but your average persons formal events, such as weddings/day at the races etc…. men are so poorly presented (untailored clothing etc) because they either don’t want to, don’t know how to, won’t listen to or cannot find the right stuff to wear. Women do a great job of making an effort to look good. Us chaps fall short. I’m not into analyzing why – its just a shame – and I think its worse for society to accept that such a separation of the standards is ok – its not really different than justifying it as ok. Back in the day every gentlemen would coordinate his colours with what his wife(or partner nowadays) would be wearing – a whole couple/package effort. Nice. In some ways we’ve evolved but in others w haven’t.
My point is that I like clothes and always make an effort no matter what I wear – be it a skirt suit and pumps or jeans/blazer and brogues – its essential that I am coordinated. I like that women make an effort too.
Perhaps its a horse and cart effect – there aren’t the choices for men because they’re not wearing them anyway?
I also get that no gorgeous lady wants a guy who is not respected among the fraternity of men and who also isn’t their image of a manly man (hard to say this right).
Honestly – so many guys want to try on high heels its just not funny. I know – I get asked by guys and told this by guys I meet all the time. Married guys, single guys etc – its always a theme. There is something about high heels that allures everyone – not just the ladies that like them. Typically guys won’t notice the details such as your pumps are a patent navy today, yesterday was black and a smidgen higher…. but they do notice you’re wearing heels. Everybody notices a pair of heels.
I loose track. I wear heels always – I feel under dressed without a heel, I prefer the posture and I have spent so long wearing heels I am comfortable in my heels – in all situations. I make an effort to be classy – I don’t like these drag/hooker sleezy connotations that come to mind because its not about that at all. Just classy clothes and shoes – oh and handbags for me because they are practical, and look great too! Skirts don’t have pockets – and also even with pants and mens suiting etc putting things in pockets puts the shape of the garments out.
Everyone I meet and talk to is ok with the way I dress – I almost always get compliments all around. I enjoy being able to wear high heels, they make my feet and legs look great, I feel happier in heels.
nb.My go to styles are stiletto pumps/ d’orsays or slingbacks and I do sometimes wear a peep in these – but not a lot. I leave the sandals and peeps more for the girls. I like the classical styles pumps.
Not sure if this helps – or not?
ToryBri
Aug 29, 2016 at 7:09 amCute post. Although it’s an old post it’s still an on going thing that’s happening. I completely understand why women hate the thought or sight of a man wearing “women’s” high heels. It’s not very manly and most women wouldn’t be attracted to a guy in heels. You know the “leave the heels to women” mindset. I also understand there are millions of reasons why a guy might want to wear high heels. Wanting to be fashionable, feminine, flamboyant, fabulous or a fairy. (wow that was a lot of “F’s”) When you compare women and men’s clothing and accessories, designers have been able to take most items from the women’s side of the boutique and adapt it for a man to wear and vice-a-versa. Even in the shoe department most women’s shoes can be altered to work for man and vice-a-versa. One exception to this is high heels like the guys in this post are wearing. If they want to wear heels they should be ready for many different reactions.
For me personally, I have worn heels in public in the past but stopped because I found it hard to walk in heels and not look awkward. Women (and some guys) make it look easy. I do like the feminine look of a shoe that cover your toes but exposes the top of the foot. High heels are great for this but so are ballet flats. They’re kinda like heels minus the heel but still expose the top of foot. Flats are another style of shoe that designer are unable to make unisex looking. The reasons I wear ballet flats aren’t important. The fact of the matter is “I do wear ballet flats cuz I want to.”
I guess if you aren’t hurting anyone do what makes you happy.
Bri
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David
Jun 22, 2015 at 8:14 pmIn my opinion I think men can wear high heels but just in certain styles. They should stay away on any of the shoes from the above pics because they’re just NOT meant to be for guys (not manly). They need masculine high heels such as dress shoes with cuban heels or leather boots with same chunky but not too high for heels (2″ good enough). After all, men wore these type of shoes decades ago so why not bring em back to fashion if they’re in the crave for heels.
Betsy
Jun 22, 2015 at 10:24 pmYes!! I know reading that they did that back in the day! Wonder how/why it fazed out—
Cam
Mar 2, 2015 at 4:06 pmHey Betsy, I’m noticing a few biases that maybe are influencing your opinion on this.
When we grow up we learn how to perform our gender roles from our friends, parents, and society. Heels have been associated exclusively with women for the past 100 or so years (possible exception was the 60s/70s with platform shoes). People will have an idea in their mind of what men and women are expected to look like and how they are supposed to dress that is based on things like this growing up. When someone crosses the expected norms of what most people are used to, it causes everyone else to question their own views of gender roles. This can be especially difficult for people because gender roles are so deeply ingrained since childhood.
Currently, the idea of a man wearing high heels, wearing makeup, having long hair, wearing certain patterns or fabrics, etc. is so foreign to Western culture that it brings out feelings of fear, repulsion, anger and disgust in many people. Similar reactions happened during the Women’s liberation movement when women began wearing pants. None of this is about competing with women. None of this is about fighting with you. Men are doing this for themselves. It has nothing to do with women. I hope that you can see that this is about men doing what they want. They aren’t doing it to take away from women, and in fact it doesn’t have to. Like pants, men don’t get upset and fight with their girlfriends as to who gets to wear them (pun is not intended!), so it is the same with any other clothing.
My suggestion and hope for those reading this is:
1. At minimum be tolerant of other people’s mode of self expression. This requires understanding that everyone is unique, that nobody fits into the box of male or female perfectly, and rather they have both masculine and feminine traits. Think female UFC fighters or male ballet dancers.
2. Accept that clothing is inherently neither male or female, and is only male or female depending on the person wearing it. This would require breaking down the boxes that allow someone to classify and organize other people and rebuild them with more inclusive criteria. For example, if you caught only a glimpse of some else’s shoes on the train and did not see any other part of the person, and noted that they were wearing high heels, that you would not assume they were a woman or man until further assessment. I realize the difficulty of this when for almost everyone high heels are synonymous for woman. I also realize that due to the minority of men who want to wear heels, it would take many years for this to become normalized.
If everyone practiced this kind of tolerance and acceptance of self expression, they would be allowing others to have freedom to pursue their life, liberty, and happiness unhindered.
The phrase “I want to date a man” implies “I want a real man” is an oft used way of asserting these deeply ingrained ideas, but sadly it also serves to force men back into the box they are trying to break free from. You are entitled to go after the image of the man you desire, however, it in no way makes guys who don’t fit this as lesser men. Please refrain from emasculating men with this saying.
Us guys in the West are starting to face a gender role crisis right now because increasingly women no longer need us to provide for them or protect them. They may want it, but they don’t necessarily need it. This is unheard of in human history, so we are being forced to redefine manhood with no wisdom from the past to go off of. We are now being forced to consider, what makes a man a man, anyway? My sincere hope is that – like the women who stood to redefine womanhood as more than just sexed up laundry cooks in floral print dresses – courageous men will stand up for their brothers and show the world that men are more than just money-making physically aggressive sex fiends in suits. And further, like the courageous men who supported women empowering themselves, there will be courageous women will support their men as well.
I realize this may seem tangential but it comes down to those deeply held ideas of what makes a man and what makes a woman. Past definitions if manhood are changing. Unless you are willing to challenge yourself to understanding it, and then redefine it, at minimum be tolerant of it. Allow others the freedom of self expression we all deserve.
I hope this sheds some light on a new perspective. Have a great day!
Betsy
Mar 2, 2015 at 5:04 pmHi Cameron! Yes, I definitely agree that normal doesn’t agree and everyone should be able to be who they are! This was just a fun article to write about. I know men aren’t competing with us 🙂